“What Does it Mean, to Heal?”
Issue #6, May 2018

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Lise Weil, Kristin Flyntz, Deena Metzger, Laura Bellmay, Erica Charis-Molling, Kim Chernin, Wendy Gorchinsky-Lambo

Editorial

Kim Chernin

Mother of Us: A Prayer for Healing

Cynthia Travis

The Wisdom of the Breakdown

Deena Metzger

Can the World Mend in this Body?

Verena Stefan

Quitting Chemo

Laura D. Bellmay

The Unveiling: Notes on Illness and Beauty

Erica Charis-Molling

Requiem in the Key of Bees, a Cento
The End of Night

Wendy Gorchinsky-Lambo

Making Love with a Three-Billion-Year-Old Woman

AFTERMATH: 11/9
Praying Amid the Damage: Dreams, Nightmares, Visions

Karen Mutter

Jaguar Medicine

Anne Bergeron

The Seven Jars

Wendy Gorchinsky-Lambo

MAKING LOVE WITH A THREE-BILLION-YEAR-OLD WOMAN

Editor’s Note:
When I drive up to my cabin from Montreal in the summer, I’m always in a rush. I’m especially pumped once I reach the long hill that takes me to our little road in the woods. So for years I ignored the sign that stood on the corner at the bottom of the hill – PRODUITS ECOLOGIQUES OEUFS BIO . The area surrounding my cabin is mostly undeveloped—no health food stores, no enlightened eateries – so the sign made me curious. But not curious enough to stop. Then one day as I rounded the corner I saw at the bottom of the sign the words “SACRED SEX.” On my next drive down the hill I stopped.

The door was open. I walked past a sign reading “Sacred Sex Boutique”—and was welcomed by-a woman about my age with long hair done up in a bun. Surrounding us were bookcases filled with titles about ecology, sound healing, eco-feminism, sacred geometry, the divine feminine and yes, Sacred Sex. In the corner was a basket full of freshly harvested vegetables. It soon became clear that the sex at issue here was not exclusively or even primarily between humans. As Wendy and I talked—I told her about my teaching at Goddard and Dark Matter—it did not take long for us to feel very glad to have discovered each other. The following March I returned to her home to participate—along with twenty other women, most of them from Montreal—in a women’s water ceremony that the Algonquin Nation had transmitted to her. And the following summer, she gave me a tour of her remarkable garden which she had designed according to the teachings of a Micmaq’ tribe—and the no less remarkable home she had made for the worms who made this garden possible. Not far from this home Wendy walked me to a small tent. She told me she sleeps there six to seven months out of the year, to be close to Mother Earth. Rawdon is about an hour north of MontreaI and at least 3C degrees colder. I was impressed.

I had wanted Wendy to write about her relationship to her worms for one of our “Making Kin” issues – but she couldn’t meet the deadline. As she has pointed out to me several times, serving The Mother is a full-time job. In this article, which she finally was able to make enough time to write, Wendy not only writes about her worms, but explains how she came to develop the relationship she has with the earth, to be connected to the Micmaq’ tribe and to do the work she is doing. All of it could be said to be a lifelong experiment in what it means, to heal.

I was a big-time social activist in Montreal for many years—demonstrating, writing, going to meetings, carrying placards, making speeches. I was a home-based entrepreneur, raising worms and selling books, fair trade coffee and ecological products out of my flat, a single mother who wanted to do it all the right way. In 1998 an occasion arrived for me to demonstrate the worms and vermicomposting at a huge Home and Garden Show, way off the island of Montreal. The organizers had invited some alternative vendors to show their wares in an allocated “Green Aisle”. On a break during this three-day event I sauntered into the end of the aisle space where the Lnog were set up with a tipi and herbs for sale. As we packed up after the Show, I noticed a small poster they had on the wall, advertising Saturday nights in Montreal, with an organic buffet, dancing and music for $5. I asked to take it and it sat on my desk for months. One evening, exhausted after another exhibition, getting the children from different friends for child-care and my lover in from out of town, I suggested we go across the city and check this out. It was an awesome evening. We ate delicious vegan food; we listened to music composed by the Lnog and later there were tam tams for dancing and my young children loved it and so did I. We kept returning and gradually came earlier and earlier to prepare food with the Lnog. Their buffets were always an education; food was displayed in beautiful geometric patterns and we feasted on wild-crafted fruits and veggies. Over time we got to know them—a little. My body had lost its sense of rhythm after ten years of fatigue and severe depression, but the Lnog called my bones back to life with their tam-tams. I started to dance again.

We learned many songs and heard many stories in our time with this tribe but our time together here was to be short-lived. They received an invitation to help in Haiti by setting up their way of life there on a donated barren piece of volcanic rock. This gave me and my children the opportunity to go visit them in Haiti a few times and it is there we experienced what miracles they could achieve with their patience, knowledge and way of life. In this place we witnessed primordial tribal life, their incredible knowledge of trees and tree planting, and constructions of quams, or vegetable-based tipis. It is here one day under a tree that I would first learn about “Alvéoles” (from a man whom, amazingly, I had had my picture taken with back at that Home and Garden Show). I had seen a sister Lnog constantly in their gardens in a kind of euphoria and I found her so beautiful and had wondered what she was experiencing. This man took paper and pencil and drew “Alvéoles,” a system of surveying, gardening and building construction, explaining that they were fundamental to the Lnog way of life. As a former math teacher, I was fascinated by the geometry and exactness of it all, but more than this I did not truly understand. I could not appreciate yet what kind of gift I had just been given.

In spring of 2001, there was a two-week period in which my life as I was living it came undone. My business suddenly collapsed when my worm partner’s wife died unexpectedly. I found out an ecologically-socially responsible business venture I was involved in was being deceitful—and so was my lover. I had to evict my tenant (my lover) out of my home in the country, which was financing my living in the city for my children’s education. The school, a Waldorf school, had a huge financial melt-down, which put a halt to my daughter’s continuing there. I handled it all by crying, journal writing, meditating, and dancing for about forty days.

It was during this intensely stressful period that I started receiving a constant message in my head: “It’s in the Water. It’s in the Water.” The voice even woke me up at night, asking me to pay attention. “It’s in the Water,” it whispered. Then a Japanese friend showed up at my door unexpectedly, just back from a visit to Japan. She stood there with book in hand, hardly able to talk from jet lag. “It’s hot off the press and I wanted you to be the first person to see it,” she declared. The book was “Messages from Water” by Dr. Masaru Emoto. “No way!!!!!!!” I screamed. I invited the book (and my friend) in and it changed my life.

The first thing I did was to go through the images, hoping to understand what Dr. Emoto was saying. When I came to these two images, side by side, I got suddenly very frightened and I broke down sobbing. I am crying even now as I think of it.

The second image was me speaking to my children—and in fact me speaking to everyone, because I was so damn tired and had taken on way too much. I had been doing battle, just as every other activist I knew had been taught. I was fighting the good fight.

But gosh! The images demonstrated that our intentions, our thoughts and feelings, our scoldings and judgments have visible effects. I was giving all my energy to the “dark side,” which was the opposite of what I was trying to achieve. I saw that despite my good intentions of trying to provide the best of education, food and mothering to my children, I was in fact providing a role model of exhaustion, negativity and victimization. This is not a healing scenario for anyone. This is not a healing scenario for our planet.

One month later, in disbelief, I was packing to return to our home in the country. So much was directing me there now, as if I had no choice. The children were overjoyed. They kissed the walls as the movers moved us in. My old gardens were all overgrown after seven years, so I decided to put into place what we had learnt so far about making Alvéoles from the Lnog. Alvéoles are an extremely precise hexagonal surveying system that is aligned with the Stars, Planets, and the Telluric Forces, the Energy points of the Earth. The Lnog use this memory system to work with the Mother (Earth and Cosmic), instead of dominating Her, in everything they do and live. In this way they constantly stroke Her, adore Her, communicate with Her, provide for Her safety.

I was blessed to meet the Lnog, who taught me where to locate this grid and precisely align my garden with Her, harmonizing with Her Rhythm. These hexagons are alive and the Lnog also taught me all parts of the Alvéoles are aspects of the female form. This teacher/student was privileged to learn how to entrain myself to this wise map.

The Alvéoles enabled the Lnog to guard the memory of Sacred Sexuality (also an element of Water) within the tribe, both in their relationship with the Earth Mother and amongst themselves. Their adoration, their caresses of the soil and the plants and the flowers turned the wheels of transformation and communication with their Earth Mother and the other Star Beings in the galaxy. It was a Oneness Consciousness that was lived by all a very long time ago. I am so grateful that they have kept this flame alive for us.

By now I had discovered the book “The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life.” The Flower of Life design is a specific hexagonal grid that exists all over the planet’s surface.

This incredible design creates a matrix field, which is nature’s most efficient way of holding information. It is a kind of neuronet, a brain that feeds information about us and what we are truly feeling to water, which holds and transports memory. The hexagram is the shape of a Water crystal, which as Dr. Emoto’s work has demonstrated, carries “Memory.” The word Micmaq’ means the People who hold the Memory, and they believe themselves to be descendants of Atlantis. As a math teacher I had never come across this important material on sacred geometry, but I recognized what the Lnog had been teaching us in a right-brain way and I saw that Alvéoles and the Flower of Life were the same. Living, breathing with them daily and tactilely studying this ancient wisdom has given me a more profound understanding of their ancient secret than I could ever had learned from a book.

Before we went out on a large expanse of land to trace out Alvéoles, I wanted my children to have fully integrated the Flower of Life design in the core of their being. We drew it precisely with a compass and colored it; we decorated cakes and windows with it; we embroidered it, and we danced it all winter long. Then we went outside. We found the starting energy point and aligned it at night with the North Star and then my daughter and I set to the task of measuring the design to the exact millimeter and digging out the wild vegetation with our bare hands and sticks, because the Lnog had taught us that metal breaks the energy field and the cut hurts the Mother’s skin. There were still many things we would eventually learn about making Alvéoles, but we got this part right. We made three of them and I devoted them to the Divine Feminine - Isis, Magdalen and Sophia. At the same time I registered my land and house as a Community Land Trust, called La Magdaliene, to protect them forever.

WORMS

Having developed a small worm and vermicompost business in Montreal, I had about twenty boxes full of worms in a basement, not so hard to move, but I also had fifty pounds of worms and a ton of vermicompost growing in a back alley in the city, all of which had to be moved to the country. Not an easy task for a lady with only pails and her station wagon. Worm growers typically grow worms in rectangular/square arrangements and it was my intention to reset up along the house that way, but my internal voice strongly guided me to a place in my forest near the house. “Ok”, I said to the voice, and when I went to dig, my hands unconsciously worked with the hexagram, same as the Alvéoles but on a different scalar measurement.

I ended up with something beautiful – a circular nest, which made so much more sense for the worms. They have a hydro-skeletal body, which means they are made up of water and water always prefers to be in round places. Later on I would go on to develop an outside system of vermicomposting, even for winter, which is virtually maintenance free and requires no construction materials and the worms are so happy there!
http://www.terramies.com/english/workshops.htm#Exterior

The Aisenia Foetida, commonly known as the Red Wiggler Composting Worm, is the only animal on the planet having five hearts. Each of their hearts has a double chamber and each heart is connected to another heart above and below in a row. In addition to being all water and muscle encased in a skin, they are a warm-blooded annelid, which makes them a feeling being, and their blood circulates through their five hearts in a figure- eight movement, much like a biodynamic flow form.This purifies what they are processing, like polluted water, which comes out clean and potable. They re-digest their materials eight times before the process is finished, refining and re-defining it again and again, so that it may be offered back again to the Earth Mother with an altered vibration and a new frequency—Re-Memory1.

If you naturally compost human waste, it takes two years before it is safe, but if you offer it to the Aisenia Foetida worm, it is transformed and safe in six days!! And in twelve weeks it is totally transformed into a valuable nutrient for the soil, as well as a natural protective barrier against dangerous bacteria/fungi leaching into the water table. These little earth beings carry a strong Dragon Energy, the fire of transformation.2

The Red Wiggler loves getting newspaper as bedding, which they also transform, and I get excited thinking about what they can do with all that bad news. Gaia loves and is healthiest when She has diversity, so I like to make sure the worms have lots of diversity in their litter and in their diet. This includes cardboard, mouldy straw, leaves, kitchen waste and shit. Using all these components will give the highest quality broadcastings, colloquially known as vermicompost. When the worm’s broadcastings are finished being edited, they go out into the world to entrain us, just as our newspapers and TV’s do.

This is an amazing instance of what I call Mother Technology. The Technology of the Mother is much like a tuning fork. It is timeless, all-encompassing and costs nothing to put into practice.

Broadcastings are usually given to plants, but they are safe for humans to use as well. An enormous amount of vitamins, minerals and hormones is stored in them, but this is not the reason I infuse castings in my bread baking and in my bath water. The vibrations in broadcastings coming from the worm’s five hearts are packed with biophotons. Biophotons consist of UV light with a high degree of order or coherence. These particles of light, which are existent in all life, serve as the organism's main communication network. Biophotons also principally regulate all life processes. Science is still learning so much about them, but we do know that the more alive a subject or material is, the higher the biophoton count. They are what makes your eyes twinkle when you are in love or makes you shine brighter when you are passionate about something. Imagine biophotons as fairy dust entraining all living beings around them. The more there are, the more life you have. Worm broadcastings, loaded with biophotons, feed the energy field of the Earth Mother.

HEART, MATH AND WATER

I first heard about the HeartMath Institute in a conference with sound healer Tom Kenyon. I had written it down in my book several times before my light bulb finally went on—you’re a math teacher raising worms, the only animal on the planet having five hearts! You better investigate this.3

My father was an electrical technician and the first person to introduce microwave technology to Canada. He built the first TV’ and microwave tower for ham radio operators in Montreal. His workroom was a mess of probes, scopes and wires. He wanted me to follow in his footsteps by studying computers—and although I refused to do that, I have realized that in fact I have followed in his footsteps--by studying and learning to make use of frequency and vibration.

HeartMath had a training conference on the East Coast which I really wanted to attend. I was hoping to introduce this technology in Quebec through my work and so I tried to organize a personal Patreon type request to those I knew, in exchange for teaching them free of charge how to use the EMWave. In the end this scheme did not work and I could not attend for lack of funds, but HeartMath was so touched by all the effort I put into it, they sent me an EMWave device at cost. This simple tech program allows me to see the wave graph of my heart on a monitor. I learn to watch my heart rhythm either expand or shrink, depending on what I am feeling. HeartMath also taught me very simple exercises to get my heart into a zone that is more beneficial to me, my problem-solving abilities, and that will entrain those around me to be in sync with their heart. They have also expanded this to monitoring the Mother Earth’s heart rhythm and our effect on Her, the rhythm in trees in communication with Her, and the effects of global Heart-based intentions on the full moons, at specific times. https://www.heartmath.org/resources/videos/hearts-intuitive-intelligence/

Dr. Emoto’s “Messages from Water” taught me that my thoughts, feelings and intentions are registered in water. He discovered that memory is stored in the hexagonal crystalline structure and that intentions in the form of vibrational signatures show up in the water. He also discovered that malformed hexagonal water crystals can be corrected with the emotions of appreciation and gratitude. Through his work but also through the wisdom of our First Nations, I came to understand that rhythms or vibrations, like music, like waves, like our heartbeat, etc…. all imprint memory and water carries memory .

In my time visiting the Lnog, I always got involved in their composting activities. They do not use worms but they do use human waste. These are very precious resources for them, particularly in countries where there is so little water or carbon material, like leaves. Haiti, for example has few trees left. The Lnog see their urine as Golden Water and their feces as a gift to the Earth. They know they can be generous in all ways with Her.

I never used to give it a second thought when I sat on a toilet. Get to it and then get off. I saw the pictures in Dr. Emoto’s book and I wanted this to change. It had to change for myself, for my loved ones and if I truly wanted the planet to heal. Now I had to urinate in a pot. I had to pay attention and be a bit careful and then pour water over my genitals to clean them and then wipe them with a soft cloth. I found myself afraid to do this. I felt shame arise in me and it was different from the self-pleasuring in my bed. I was emotionally challenged by such a simple act and it brought me back to my infancy. Sex education starts when your first diaper is changed and what is the face you see, what are the words you hear? To face myself, observe my own surprising feelings about peeing, having or losing control, embarrassment and pleasure, rocked my daily world. I had to go in there so often and meet myself!! It helped that I knew scientifically that urine is sterile; it carries no bacteria and the smell is caused by minerals. But now I had to take the pot out. I had seen this often with the Lnog but never done it. To my surprise, I found a great pleasure in humbly bending my knee in beauty and grace and offering “my” Golden Water to the Earth Mother. I started to notice great changes in my flowers and certain vegetables. Disease disappeared and the leaves got brighter and brighter.

Then there was defecating. A different pot in a different place in the bathroom. Same issues and more. Great guilt along with the shame. I heard “Don’t touch it or yourself. It’s dirty! It’s dangerous!” If it were not for my devotion to this experiment, I could not have gone on with it. And I would have missed out on learning about the great shadows hiding out in my psyche, hampering true Intimacy with myself and eventually with others. As I brought this pot out to the Alvéoles, and to the worm beds, I knew the worms could take care of it. In fact, they were delighted to get all this food. Again, I was moved to bend knee and offer it. I had a sense of co-creation, as the worms would transform it and the geometry would take it out into the universe. Biophotons would make their way into the soil, into the plants, flowers and fruit, and also into my bread and my body, when I soaked the infusion of broadcastings for my dough or my bath.

As my self-esteem slowly grew, I found I was generous to the ground in giving Her my vibration of bliss through my Golden Waters. Or I could be generous in giving my high vibration to my septic system to travel to other parts of the region and perform their magic, or in passing my Waters to a city sewage system, so that all Life may be served. But all this took time.

We here in Quebec and lower Ontario are holding on to the largest store of freshwater in the world. And women are the guardians of water in all indigenous nations around the globe. Over time, I learned to work with the Torus energy depicted above for the sake of the Water. The vortex at the heart is the place of honour, where I direct my bliss and send my intentions to the Water table, so that it may be disseminated out into the world.

When I am in joy and appreciation, Dr. Emoto’s work showed me that my waters inside were being imprinted and the waters outside were receiving the same imprint, even from very far away. This was exactly what the Algonquin and Micmaq’ Nations were also teaching me. They instructed me that my urine, my saliva, my blood, my tears, my generous genital fluids, and all the water outside of us, polluted or unpolluted, are receiving messages from us, as individuals and as a collective. The Native women taught me a song and a ceremony for Water that says, “The water that I carry is the blood of the Mother Earth.” I concluded from this that the Earth Mother receives an orgasmic vibration when we are in orgasm. (I wish I had known this in all the years I taught sex education to high schoolers!) Pleasure and appreciation can all be directed to Her and recorded in Her memory-- and what a memory a three-billion-year-old woman can have.

It is the principal reason why I sleep outside on the ground for six to seven months of the year. The Mother and I are in Love and so I sleep as close to Her as possible. She whispers to me, offers Her fragrance and regenerates me, so that I can hold an energetic force when I am separated from Her. It is a lived eroticism.



Wendy Gorchinsky-Lambo

Wendy Gorchinsky-Lambo owns TerrÂm(i)es Enterprises (Soul Sisters of the Earth) in Rawdon, Quebec. She was the first person to sell Fair Trade coffee commercially in Montreal, and brought Dr. Masaru Emoto and his wife Katsura to Quebec to present “Messages From Water” in 2003. Wendy has been a high school math and sex education teacher, the regional editor for Green Teacher Magazine, and has homeschooled two children with dyslexia. She is a guardian of the ancient Algonquin women’s water ceremony. She may be reached through her website www.terramies.com


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