Page 126 - Dark Matter Women Witnessing

under fluorescent lights. He wants for them what he wants for himself, a

maximally expanded sensorium. No soccer games or piano recitals for his six

“cubs.” He takes them on expeditions to find otter spraint (poop) on muddy

riverbanks and then encourages them to make their own. Later they go on a

‘treasure hunt’ to locate and identify the little chocolate frostee-freeze piles. In the

acknowledgments, he thanks his “long-suffering wife.” Indeed.

Basically, Foster finds that humans and other creatures are always inscrutable to

each other, something he experiences it as an “exhilarating inaccessibility.” He

is honest about a number of things. “The universe I occupy is a creature of my

head. It is wholly unique to me. The process of intimacy is the process of

becoming better at inviting others in to have a look around. The sensation of

loneliness is the crushing acknowledgment that however good you get at giving

such invitations no one will be able to see very much at all... But we need to keep

trying. If we give up with humans, we’re wretched misanthropes. If we give up

with the natural world we’re wretched bypass builders, or badger baiters or self-

referential urbanites.” Maybe a diet of earthworms helps one to become more

philosophical.

Plunged into a state of intense mourning by the sudden death of her beloved

father, Helen MacDonald begins a relationship with a fierce goshawk she names

Mabel. Helen learned hawks as a child. She is familiar with their aristocratic

heritage, the long heraldic tradition and history of falconry; she knows the

methodology, the equipment--the leash, the glove, the creance, the hood. When

MacDonald chooses Mabel for a companion, she is mostly just focused on her

grief and knows she needs to engage with a creature strong and wild enough to

keep her from disappearing.

Ever since she was a child, MacDonald tells us, she sought safety in not being

seen. She is good at watching, not doing. She understands it isn’t a good trait for

a human, but for her goshawk, Mabel, it is the greatest skill in the world. When