Page 112 - Dark Matter:Women Witnessing Issue2
P. 112
Laura D. Bellmay
A Call from the Edge
September 12, 2014
When I see herds of animals running towards me, I do not care what will happen to me. The animals
come from a single direction as if a predator is pursuing them or they know a cataclysm is imminent.
There are many different kinds of animals and they squish together as they pushing up against one
another as they run for their lives. Their hooves fling tufts of earth into a smoke of dust and dirt. They
are frantic to escape. I feel their collective panic and fear in the bottom of my stomach. I am afraid for
them and feel helpless. Though I think I will be killed by the stampede of all these animals, I remain
unafraid of the animals. Then they all turn to the right of me as they continue to run for refuge leaving
behind a massive cloud of dust.
In my arms, I am holding a baby creature no larger than a medium-‐sized cat. I do not know if this small
creature is a human baby or not, or even a bit of both. It doesn’t matter. All I know is that I must
protect this infant.
I am heading toward a hill of white immediately in front of me. As I get closer to it, I understand why all
the other animals have run away. Down this huge white hill, that I now see is an unbroken sheet of
white ice, a frantic, starving four-‐legged cat-‐-‐a pure black cougar-‐-‐runs after the animals that have run
away.
The cougar is ferocious because it is starving. As the cougar rampages down the ice hill towards me, I
hunch my body over my fur-‐baby making us both small. With my right shoulder I burrow into the ice hill
in an effort to protect us. I let go of any worry that the cougar will kill us for food. The cougar runs by
us.
Sporadically, throughout my life, I’ve had lucid dreams. However, up until the first diagnosis of breast
cancer, I had little insight into what gifts dreams were—for me and—for community. Upon that
