Page 82 - Dark Matter:Women Witnessing Issue #3 - December 2015

I am doing my best to accept the carnage that is creeping towards my front door. For whatever reason,

I believe I was called to this land to witness our future. Precognition, a so-called “paranormal” ability,

seems to be an ongoing reality in my life. The dream of an image of my land superimposing itself on

desecrated earth warned me that things were not as they seemed, that under peace lay heartbreak.

Because of the trees I have witnessed my own suffering in the context of that which is greater than my

personal story.

But what about the trees? When I listened to the trees, I was surprised to learn that it wasn’t collective

tree death that was the worst problem for them; it was their invisibility as living beings that distressed

them the most. The trees had given up on humans--although they were still able to feel compassion for

us as a species because they considered us so lost. (How is this even possible, I wonder.) I was

astonished at the depth of their gratitude for me just because I could see and hear them. I felt ashamed

because these simple gestures seemed so inadequate.

This brings me around to the beginning of my story and the hope I hung on to for so many years. My

initial impression/interpretation of the dream was incorrect. I understand now that loving my land was

not meant to be enough. I was not going to be able to heal devastation with love although it mattered

that I cared about my land. I was being called to witness for the trees in both their wholeness and

brokenness. Witnessing matters regardless of personal feelings or outcome. It is only when we are truly

able to see the trees in whatever shape they are in, and stay in the truth of what we see, that Love with

a capital “L” becomes possible.

I have recently made a decision to sell this house and land and to leave this area. I am leaving not

because of what is happening to the trees, although a circle is closing for me. I came in joy and will

leave in sorrow. The noise is untenable. In this valley alone there is daily target- shooting, often with

high- power rifles and machine guns. At night there are fireworks and unpredictable explosions. In