Page 54 - Dark Matter:Women Witnessing Issue #3 - December 2015

I began to have dreams. Night after night they came. Some showed me violence, loss and

death. Some included images and iconography that were foreign to me, but which I later learned

are significant in other cultures. Some dreams presaged events or conversations, teaching me

that time is unbounded in the dream world. Frequently, the dreams involved animals. I

researched their geographic origins, their spirit-totem associations and their habitats, trying to

understand what they might be trying to tell or teach me. Initially, it seemed that most of the

animals that visited my dreams were endangered species. Over time, the dreams made it clear

that all animals, including humans, are endangered; again and again, I learned that the primary

threat to their survival is our way of living. Through the dreams, animals became my primary

source of awakening to the danger facing all life:

A reindeer, her dark hindquarters strewn with white speckle-stars, comes with her little one. I

learn that the reindeer, and the cultures in which they are at the center, are in jeopardy.

A doe and her daughter graze in my yard until a lone gunman shoots them just because he can,

then leaves them on my doorstep. I am catapulted into grief.

A mule deer teaches me that wildfire and overdevelopment are eradicating its habitat.

A snow leopard appears in the heat of the summer sun, and I learn that climate change and

poaching are two of the greatest threats to her survival.

***

One night in 2012, I held the question before sleep: “Where is the rest of me?” I hoped I might

glean insight into the source and nature of my longing, and the persistent sense that something

was missing—something important, and maybe essential. In response, an epic dream-journey

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